Studying under a tree and concentration…
13 Jul 2010 2 Comments
in frustrations, worries
Today I stumbled on this image.
And, well, just looking at it gives me a sad and nostalgic feeling…
I want to be like that. 
Carefree, relaxed, calm, enjoying the outdoors with a good book. Even with a book required of me to study, not only leisure.And being able to concentrate on what I am doing and focus, therefore enjoying the whole experience of studying outdoors.
I really want to do something like that so bad… But either I cannot find a quiet spot, or it’s not good enough, or the weather is bad, etc.
Plus for some reason I really have problems to concentrate.
I’ve always had it, in school it would take 2-3 times longer than “normal” students to get through something, because I had big problems to stay focused.
The only book I was ever able to stay focused for so long, was each one from the Harry Potter series. None else.
And that is not good, and very worrysome…
How the hell can I manage a job when I have these problems? Especially at a company, when they want maximum productivity.
Everytime I tried to study somewhere else, I was always snapping my head up when I heard noise. Someone walking by, anything. Or in my room even, looking outside the window at the ugly building across the street and thinking… Or playing around, mind wandering…
I tried giving myself a schedule… Nothing. I tried putting alarms… Nothing.
I hate this.
I will end this post, I don’t want to go further into the dark pit of depression.
Jul 13, 2010 @ 22:44:36
I’ve told you before, Dru, that EACH and EVERY ONE of us has his own way of doing things and there is nothing really wrong with yours, except that imho you are sometime too critical of yourself even when you have accomplised so many things that others might have found baffling.
> How the hell can I manage a job when I have these problems? Especially at a company, when they want maximum productivity.
So do I … I cannot concentrate on anything work related for more than 10 minutes … point being .?. Who cares .?. I do not … I am who I am and I like it that way …
Besides, despite my shortcomings my efficiency and my work has always been above standard and noone has ever complained, so why should other people care how I do things as long as I get them done and everyone is happy .?.
And you get things done as well, in your own way and terms (and don’t say no or I’ll get some examples
), but there you are in a place that most people would have found mindboggling to get there and instead of being happy/content of your accomplishments you get depressed over a tree (*) .?.
Cheer up, Dru, you are better than you think … you might not think so, but at least try to believe it.
P.S.
(*)
If these people are ACTUALLY concentrating on their work with the intense focus you wish for, then it wouldn’t really have really mattered whether they had been studing under a tree or a rock or a roof.
Out there people are going to chill out on the pretense of studying, but with the purpose of relaxing …
Jul 14, 2010 @ 12:38:20
Thank you Blade… Your words help and it’s good to be reminded.
(hug)
> you have accomplised so many things that others might have found baffling.
Like?
> I’ll get some examples
I’m curious!
> Out there people are going to chill out on the pretense of studying, but with the purpose of relaxing …
Hmm… you might have a point there… Thanks.
> Cheer up, Dru, you are better than you think … you might not think so, but at least try to believe it.
Thank you Blade… I forget to remind myself that.
So thank you for reminding me. ^_^